My thoughts

I haven’t been very well the past week.

Friday I freaked out and my mum had to come and get me to take me to the doctors.  I got my meds increased to 1 and a half pills a day.  Friday night I kept R up til 5am because I decided that I wanted to go for a drive.  And then I had a panic attack on Saturday.

Sunday was mostly ok, but Monday I was so tired and stressed I didn’t go to class.  Tuesday I went to the supermarket to do the shopping and ended up having to get R to come meet me there cos I started freaking out and couldn’t remember where I was.

Wednesday I had two panic attacks and didn’t go to work.  I went to the doctor again and am now on even more medication (yay…).

I struggled through work yesterday, but burst into tears at the gym after work.  Poor Dan (R’s mate) didn’t know what to do, and probably thinks I’m completely mad.  I know he’s only nice to me cos of R and that he doesn’t really like me.

Anyway, last night I refused to get out of the car cos I didn’t want to go inside.  I don’t know why, but I just didn’t.  Then I decided I wanted to go for a walk, so walked for 20 mins in the freezing cold.  R caught up with me and managed to get me into the car and take me home, where I burst into tears and was a bit hysterical.

To top things off, I took one of my new pills last night which knocked me out, and I was asleep til 2pm this afternoon.

I really don’t think I’m doing very well, and I need more help.  I think I need to be locked up.