My thoughts

Time: 3.30am

Yes I am back to posting at ungodly hours.  I can’t sleep again even though I’m exhausted and feel dead on my feet.

I think I’m getting sick again.  I can’t sleep, I want to cry all the time and I feel like I’m facing everything on my own.  I feel like noone cares about me and that I wouldn’t be missed if I wasn’t here.

All I feel is stressed all the time.  I hate the drive into work everyday, Browns Bay to Penrose is ridiculous.  I leave at 6.30am to start work at 8am.

I am tired of being made to feel guilty because I need to stay home, because I am too sick to drive.

I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone or tell them how I feel.  I don’t feel like my friends care and I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell them how I feel.  Not that I can, because I email/text/call, and get no answer.  Claude has an excuse, she’s on the other side of the world, but what about everyone else?  What is so wrong with me that you don’t want to see me and ignore me???

I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I don’t want to get sick, because I’m scared I won’t make it through the otherside this time.